Is First Cut Always The Deepest and The Unforgettable One???

Another experience to share…so last night a friend of mine told me his story about his ex. According to what he said to me, I caught a glimpse of “betrayal” here. She was the one who left him and by the end of the day (which is now) she also the one who start to send messages and call him everyday and unfortunately now he’s in confusing situations and doesn’t know what to do. I think in the first place, he still in love with her (well at least he still has this caress and love inside of him for her) and probably still have this little hope to get back for good. The only thing is he can’t forget the things she did to him. She has betrayed the relationship itself by going out with somebody else just as they ended up the relationship. She wasn’t there when he needed her the most to support him during his hard-times. And his own best friend hates her so much for everything she did in the past. Now he finds himself in such dilemma, doesn’t know what kind of feeling he still have inside for her, but I guess he can’t accept the fact that she has left him and did painful things to him…and he doesn’t know whether the things that she is doing now (those phone calls and sms) are such sincere things or not…Well I guess you just need time and please try to DEFINE your relationship and list all the good and the bad things of your relationship. I believe as time goes by, I bet you will find the answer. He is confused like a madman because she is his first love and it hurt him so bad with all the bad things she did to him in the past (verro??)…Time will heal, just like I told ya!!!Enjoy you vacation; release all the pain and the stress ok???London is calling for ya..!!!You should have fun there dear!!!

Another story of 3 girls who have been waiting for some guys for nearly 4 years. Well they already close and having this “boyfriend-not, friend neither” kind of relationship. They acted as couple (going out, phone call, bla bla bla…), but never yet declared and defined what kind of relationship that they had. Somehow the relationship is hung up and never been clear what it was. But unfortunately, they did wait for these men to clear all the things up, but somehow there was no explanation at all. The problem is…can you imagine that? Spent 4 years just to wait something that probably not even there. Had been cried and desperately gave up and about to leave everything’s up, then A SINGLE PHONE CALL (underline please) or an SMS would change everything and the story start all over again. When decision has been made, to forget and move on, THAT DAMN SINGLE PHONE CALL changed everything!!!That’s how the story go on and on and finally made you tired about this on-off indefinable-relationship, that’s the time when you move on. As time goes by and the time healed your pain but somehow, the memories are still there and somehow the story itself is the most painful ones!!!As I said, first cut is the deepest…the unforgettable one…but yet the most beautiful of all..hahaha…

Me myself personally, not so different after all… I have the same exact story as the first and the second one and I got healed from the pain when I found the new person simply just to replace him, even though it didn’t work that way either as I expected because the second one was also brought me pain in the end, even worst he wasn’t a faithful person after all ..and what even makes it harder is when your girlfriend/boyfriend’s family has already knew you. It’s hard to think whether to maintain the relationship with his/her siblings and the parents or simply just end up the relationship as well just like the relationship with their child that h/’she has with you. Such a lousy situation, isn’t it???But I think it’s true when people say..FIRST CUT IS THE DEEPEST..and somehow only time that heals you and someone new that can replace his/her place…someone that must be better and deserve you better..

un beso

In The Times Like This When I Miss Italia So Much..BUON NATALE e FELICE 2009!!!

So it’s Christmas’ Eve and this is the time when i usually send and receive e-mails and some post-cards from my Italian friends and some friends from countries that celebrate Christmas. So this morning i just received a cartolina, a card from Ute and today in my e-mail inbox and facebook i received gli auguri for the Christmas (Christmas wishes) . In the card, Ute said “Jasmine, how much i miss you and remembering our Christmas and New Year’s Eve together 4 years ago makes me sad, because we are just too far now and we haven’t got the chance to meet up again.”

Yeah surely, i still remember my first time far from home in a foreign country with foreign people and foreign language but i have Ute at that time as my friend. I remember the time when we bought our Christmas presents, did some shopping in the center of Alghero and I was freezing to death because it was my first winter. One of the funny thing is..she was really eager to buy me a watch, as Christmas present and for my birthday present by the next year. She was amazed that i never wore a watch that i just used my cellphone as my watch and it’s kinda annoyed her because sometimes i got late and usually she blamed me for not having a watch, hahahaha…also Chonnisa thinks the same way..She said “Jasmine mi fai impazzire, sai che mi stupisci??Sei sempre in tempo pero’ non hai l’orologio, come lo fai?Ma sempre guardi il telefonino, ehi???e’ incredibile questa cosa...hahahaha..she always said that. That i made her go mad and crazy and also amazed her bacause i always on time barely got late, but i never use a watch, i only have a cellphone to look up to, and it’s such an amazing thing for her in a negative way…hahahaha…

Shopping for Christmas was also my first time i got my piercing, i made 2 piercing that night and it was crazy then from that time i got addicted to piercing. I made 5 piercings in Italy so total, i had 7 piercings but now i just have 5, 3 on the left and 2 on the right ear and planning to have one more as my final piercing on my right ear. Well still don’t know yet when can i make it, since i don’t think my mom would allowed me to.

Then the New Year’s Eve we spent it on a ranch which i forgot to whom it belongs to, hahahahahaha…..was a boring party for me..the olmedesi (that’s how we call the olmedo people) spent their New Year’s Eve. Some got drunk and smoked some weeds,which is famous as Joint.

In December too that was the time when i saw and touch snow for the very first time in my life. It was so beautiful, even tough it wasn’t heavy snow just like in the movie (duuuhhh, come on my city is on the bay, near the beach, e’ impossibile). Even if the snow was vanished as soon as it reached the ground, but i kinda enjoyed it…hahahahaha…(norak dan kampungan i know)..

Well me just missing Alghero and spending the time with Ute and Chonnisa simply just hanging around, buy some Christmas present, chew some chips, eating gelato (ma sei pazza Jasmine –> lo so Ute anche lo mangio durante l’inverno e lo mangio come mio colazione anche, hahahaha…). This is the sentence that Ute used to say “Ma Sei Pazza Jasmine” which means You are Soooo Crazy Jasmine but i always answered her…I know Ute, i eat ice-cream during winter and have it as my breakfast too (sometimes)…well i can’t bear the tastefulness of Algida (here we call it Wall’s) but this Cornetto was soooooo yummy!!!Inez was also shocked when i had Cornetto-Algida as my breakfast and i ate it quickly, less than 5 minutes, was winter and faccio sporca (hahahaha, yeah i got messy with the choco) then sometimes i ate ice-cream near the camino, the chimney, i used to be the one who near it because i couldn’t stand the cold (since we don’t have any heater at home) and sometimes i exchanged place with Francesco several times while we watched Striscia La Notizia with Hunziker in it and the Vetrine (I forgot how to call those dancing girls) or this stupid program of Maria di Filipi, Amici or Grande Fratello or L’isola dei Famosi (if i am not wrong)…it was a very beautiful memory for me…Just unforgettable and i miss them somehow…

And staying da McDonald (e’ una schifezza comunque per gli italiani questo ristorate) was always been the last option, sometimes i didn’t grab something simply to save the money to call home (whuahahaha, it was so expensive, prefer to watch mommy than eating da McDonald, with 5 euros you can make 45 minutes call and da McDonald, you got a burger, french fries and a softdrink) and finally i just bought a small slice of panino con lo sugo (small bread with tomato sauce or with cipolle hehehehehe garlic), pathetic me!!!!or just to use the money for a cup of espresso with acqua minerale. Probably the McDonald itself remembered us as 3 foreigners who waited for the shop to open, since in Italy the shops close at noon and re-open around 4 or 5, the employee and the workers just go home and take a nap, hahahaha……di Indonesis sih bangkrut bo’…

well these are just some memories that come up in my mind tonight and kinda make me a little bit “homesick” to my second home-land (lebay, hehehehe….)well just hoping that one day i will return soon…

I cited this from one of my friend’s page…scusa teso, ma questa bella frase mi stupisce. e’ bello anche vero’..dai un giorno ritorneremmo li’ alla nostra seconda patria (haha lebay) ma voresti no????io si..comunque gudagni tanto che ritornarai tu prima, come kak Indra…poi la prossima volta tocca a me (crossed-finger)..

La vita non e’ quello che si e’ vissuta, ma quella che si ricorda e come si ricorda per raccontarla
– Gabriel Garcia Marquez — (bello no??????)

-Life isn’t about how it experienced/spent, but how it is as remembered and how it’s as a remembered/memory to tell -

I can’t do the exact translation, kinda hard, more beautiful in Italian…since my lecture said : Language isn’t the neutral means..hahahaha..

AUGURI di BUON NATALE e FELICE 2009…

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Un Bacione

Concept of a Marriage and The Ideal One in My Point of View

So I just passed around and read an article in one of my friend’s blog which discussing about marriage and the concept of it. Well amusingly, in my daily life this kind of topic has been an issue among us (lately), especially when these past few months we have received several wedding invitations and surely we attended them (like come on, weddings parties, duh..????surely we will come). And today I just had this conversation about marriage with some of my close friends; well just exchange way of thinking and just….talk.

I found a fact that one of my best friend thinks that she still wants to stay single even though she has a current boyfriend, which is unfortunately has different religion to her. Well she’s kinda a girl who wants to stay single just like Miranda Sex and the City, but doesn’t mean that she doesn’t want to have a baby one day…

Well different opinion from her, her boyfriend is thinking to have a steady life with a nice little family. Well since me and her boyfriend, we have this kind of same “ethnicity” so…it’s kinda hard to accept the fact that having different religions would be acceptable for the family. well, with him I prefer to talk about the future than talking about marriage, cuz according to him, he will build his own family based on the future and the job that he might does one day….

Well for myself, I just still afraid of marriage. It sound a little “scary” I think, with all the commitment and the responsibility that you might face. Doesn’t mean that I can’t committing myself is just…geez I am still damn young and free, I want to chase lots of dreams, set some goals, achieve them and have fun with friends, enjoy freedom for the sake of my own happiness. For me a marriage isn’t only a marriage, for me once you tight yourself to your spouse and said the vow to God, it’s kinda hard to take it back, forever it means, since I am indoctrinated to have one happy marriage and that’s all (what if I don’t???????) . And other and the most important thing about a marriage, the responsibility of raising the children, educate them and give them proper life….geezzzz way too far from now (well for me)…I need to find the right guy with the same dream that has same concept and same “destination” in his life…so we can support and cooperate to achieve the goals, not only economic matters but more with the shaping and molding the children to the right shape to be good persons in life…

And other thing that I am afraid about a marriage, what if I met and married to the wrong person????(can’t imagine myself with this kind of situation). So I just re-watched one of my fave. movie, Before Sunset (a very recommended movie). This movie is about a long-life waiting of two people to their past-love. They met on a train heading to Paris, but they got-off from the train in Vienna and in that city they spent the day before they finally separated, but sadly the memory that they shared the entire day is never forgotten even if 10 years have just passed. So they met again, re-united in a book launching of the man in Paris. Well the book itself, the one that he wrote is about this girl and the journey that they have spent in Vienna 10 years ago. Well, short story, when they re-united the situation is that the girl is unmarried but has a relationship with a journalist, who leaves her all the time due to his job. And the guy himself is married to his on-off-relationship girlfriend in the past 10 years, and already has a son. But he knows that he’s still in love with this girl that she met on a train 10 years ago and who spent a day in Vienna with him. He still had her in mind when he was about to get marry to his girl-friend…even at the moment they met again, he still has her in his mind as love of his life. He said after all, he decided to get married with his girlfriend because the thinks a marriage is a commitment and responsibility and he can manage to bear the fact that he can live without love…and it’s ok for him to live and spend his life with the wrong person, the one that actually he’s not really in love with..

In conclusion, because of that movie, I am getting afraid and afraid to the concept of a marriage…i am afraid that I can’t bear the fact that I am married to a wrong person and just realized, that I still have my forever crush out there (whuahahahaha….) well I can’t bear the condition if I have to spend my life with someone that I don’t love, even if he loves me so much…cuz for me it’s not only about commitment and responsibility, it’s about the loyalty of heart and the sacred vow, and when you don’t have the love, then you can’t cooperate to build such a happy family for the children…

Me myself, want to get marry when I reach 29 which in the opinion of my mom is kinda crazy and unbelievable and unacceptable for her (duh, come on?!?!)why???????i wanna spread my wings, want to obtain lots of experiences and working as hard as I can, to get lots of friends here and there, get some money as saving, travel as often as I can, to explore the world and see other part of the world….well it’s just my minor reasons, my major reason is because kinda hard to find a person who has the same “head” just like me, the same ambition and same concept of a marriage, where I want to have the perfection of the ideal concept of marriage and try the best to realize it…esp.for the sake of my children’s future…..

My friends said, is kinda hard to get me the right person for now, they say I need a man who is 5 or 6 years older just to balancing my way of thinking and my ambition…I need a man to love me, to caress me instead of feed me and provide me with the economic needs..one more think when I got married, me and my husband have to be settled-down first before we decided to get marry at once, so we wouldn’t be the burden for our family….Kalo kata temen-temen gw: “Min, lo kapan kawinnya kalo ga kaya-kaya????????Being rich here means that I earn my own money and get rich with my own feet, not from my future husband nor my parents’ inheritance…I have to get rich first before getting marry, so no man would ever insult me with his machismo concept…hahahahaha……

Well sometimes I am kinda amazed with the young people who decided to get marry in the early years of their lives..i mean 20 or 21???geez, too young for me…how can you feed your children when you are jobless or probably you have a job but it’s never enough??well some pople say…well the parents give them some allowance or their parents give them bla bla bla and bla…..but please come on!!! do you want to get marry and still living in you parents’ house or your parents give you some allowance just for you to stay alive??????sounds stupid…I think marriage is about maturity, and when you are mature enough, you know what step you want to make in life, simply not being the burden for both sides of the families, kinda pity and shameful for me…well even if the man is already steady…is the girl herself already steady on her own feet???well if I am not, I wouldn’t dare to take a marriage step…once again marriage is kinda “heavy things” for me and need lots of consideration and lots of things to be re-considered…well so far, this is what I think about marriage and I don’t know what might happened in the next few years if something can change my concept of marriage and my opinion of marriage itself…but by the end of the day i would like to be married with someone that i want to be with, has the same minds and have the same goals, with several circumstances that i think, we are mature and ready enough to have and bear the commitment and the responsibility as such this, the marriage itself..

un bacione

Hi Everyone, Ciao Tutti…!!!

Well, this idea just came up during my exams week, actually i already wrote in some kind of blog-thingy is just i don’t have the time yet to published it, so i am thinking why don’t i have a real blog anyway and start blogging simply just to share my thoughts and opinions about things that i currently dealing with..

Well as a start…just want to say hello to everyone who might read my writings..hope you can give some feedback..

Ciaooooooooooooooo!!!!